Many of us get injured it is a part of leading an active fun life.
Do not let these setbacks deter you no matter how insurmountable they may appear.
I have had my fair share of injury’s, but I want to focus on one today. About a month and a half before the end of 8th grade when I was playing peggies (You throw a rubber ball or tennis ball at your Friends. I know its dumb but what can I say I was in 8th grade) while I was playing this game I bent down next to a brick wall and a friend who weighed about 300 pounds tripped and fell on me and my head on the upper left of my forehead slammed into said brick wall.
To this day there is about a second and a half that I have no memory of, its just black. Now, this injury is not as severe as it seems to look back knowing what I know now. Today I could have quickly recovered from such a thing in a month or two.
Instead, I made it worse, so much worse. I stayed up all night playing video games, barely sleeping, eating terrible food and since I received a pass on the last month and a half of school I thought this head injury was a great thing.
I had a constant headache but what did I care. The school nurse told me to rest and apply ice, and I would recover soon enough. So I continued to do all of the wrong things for four and a half months of what was essentially an extended summer vacation.
When I went back to school as a freshman in high school, I was still in constant pain from my unhealed head injury, but I had no choice, and I had no idea what else to do. All they told me is that it would heal in time, nothing else, no guidelines or precautions, nothing at all. I don’t even think I went to the doctor about this (The memory of that whole time is hazy for obvious reasons). As time passed my head did not get better, it was made worse over time by people being people.
I had people slap me on the back of the head, pound on my back, and many other things that only caused me more pain in sometimes more damage to an unhealed concussion. The thing about head injuries is that after you sustain one you are extremely susceptible to another one especially if the first one has not healed. About halfway through the year, things seemed to be improving; the pain was lessening, there were times where it stopped hurting, and I was hopeful that my year and a half long ordeal was finally over.
Then disaster struck, an acquaintance who was altogether not very bright decided that it would be hilarious to hit me in the head. Knowing full well that I had an unhealed head injury (Although he was not thinking about this at the time just how funny it would be) and he hit me in the head. In probably one of the worst way, he palm struck me (This is striking with the base of the palm and is one of the most powerful blows that can be delivered with the hands, especially without any damage to the deliverer). He did this square in my forehead about two inches from where my head hit the brick.
This brought all of the progress, all of the healing that had been done crashing down. I was in so much pain, so hopeless that I wanted to end my life.
The agony that was having the promise of a pain-free normal life ripped away after slowly clawing your way out of it after a year and a half of suffering. It is unimaginable. I had to go to the ER if not that day I believe a week later because it felt like lightning bolts where being shot through my skull every minute or two. I laid in the ER and heard the doctor tell me that there was nothing to be done, that this was just part of head injuries, things happen, they did not give me painkillers. Over and over this vicious cycle was repeated, I would be in pain and something or someone would make it worse. Someone would smack me upside the head for my sarcastic comments that originated from my demons and my declining mental state. I had multiple breakdowns where I reached the point of suicide; I was dragged away from this end many times. I went to Doctors and neurologists, and they told me the same thing; there is nothing we can do, you will have to wait for this to heal on its own. After two years of pain, I had given up, nothing had helped, and it seemed like I was forever doomed to trapped in a broken body wracked with pain.
The insidious thing about head injury’s of this nature is that you can’t do anything. Do you like to run? Too bad that hurts. Do you want to lift weights? Too bad that makes things worse. Do you like watching tv? Too bad that makes the pain worse It turns your every moment into a constant reminder of your pain and weakness. Talk about an ego check when a simple pat on the back from a friend can throw you into a rage and then uncontrollable sobbing as the pain cleaving your skull doubles.
However, with all things, it got better I found specialist far off the beaten path who gave me some relief for the first time, and there was hope. It started getting better, then there was a setback, then it got better, and on and on and on to today where I no longer have to live with that pain or that injury. What I’m trying to tell you is that even in your darkest hour, never forget that things can and will get better. There is always hope; there are things to be done. I have learned so much from this experience, not only about myself but about what is possible. I want to share what I have learned in hopes of helping those who need it the most. So please don’t give up, someone is here for you, someone cares, someone can help. I will have another post coming on how exactly I overcame this debilitating head injury, stay tuned.